Is it Mom Brain or Undiagnosed ADHD? | What Causes Mom Brain | Tips to Manage Mom Brain Fog and ADHD
You know at baby showers where they pass out the little slips of paper and ask you to write down a piece of advice for the new mom?
Well, ever since I became a mom nearly 13 years ago, my “advice” has been “mom brain never ends”.
And I get that it isn’t exactly helpful when it comes to child rearing, but I do think it is important for us moms to be open about the struggles we have with memory. And emotional regulation. And motivation. And overwhelm.
Of course, now I know that many of the symptoms I was personally experiencing were due to undiagnosed ADHD, it doesn’t mean that I didn’t experience what many women do for sometimes many year post-partum.
That’s why I wanted to discuss a bit about why we experience mom brain, the differences between mom brain and undiagnosed ADHD, and give some strategies to help support and improve your symptoms…whether they are from mom brain or ADHD or both.
What Is Mom Brain and What Causes It
Is mom brain even a real thing?
Well, yes.
And despite there not being a ton a research into mom brain (as with far too many women’s health issues) there is some data starting to emerge that helps explain what is happening and why it happens.
After giving birth, many mothers will experience feelings of forgetfulness, brain fog, disorganization, distraction, forgetfulness.
There are several reasons us moms may experience this post-partum…Let’s start with the sciency side.
A 2016 study found that pregnant women have a reduction of gray matter in the parts of the brain involved with social cognition, or how we process, store, and apply information we receive about people and social situation. It’s theorized this process may be part of the brain’s way to help mother’s reset neural networks in order to better understand and care for their babies.
But while we are building these new neural pathways, we may experience difficulty remembering, focusing, or problem solving.
Another study from 2002 found that your prefrontal cortex gets smaller during pregnancy. And the prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain responsible for executive functions like memory, decision making, planning, organizing, and focus.
Outside of actual brain chances that happen post partum, you’ve got a change in your hormones. After giving birth you will experience a massive drop in estrogen, which is a hormone directly involved with your dopamine levels.
And dopamine is a neurotransmitter carrying messages to the brain about executive functions like memory, organization, focus, and problem solving. So that may explain on a hormonal level why you’re experiencing these symptoms.
Having a newborn also typically means a change in your sleep patterns. And sleep deprivation can lead to struggles with emotional regulation and trouble thinking or focusing.
And you may be thinking “this is great info for a mom of a newborn, Christy, but my kids are older and I’m still experiencing these symptoms.”
Well there could be a couple of explanations…
First, it could be the current state of motherhood and all the expectations we put on ourselves when creating a life for our children.
Real talk…momming can be exhausting. And overwhelming. And stressful. And all this stress can lead to feeling anxious or depressed.
In turn, anxiety may make you feel restless or hyperactive. It can cause you to struggle to focus, make impulsive decisions, and have trouble sitting still.
And depression can cause a lack of focus and forgetfulness as well as struggles with motivation and decision making.
So wait, am I telling you that post-partum your brain is experiencing a loss of gray matter, building new neural pathways related to memory and focus, a loss in estrogen which is involved with our production of dopamine, a change to sleep patterns which can make our emotions feel dysregulated, and increased stress due to societal pressures potentially leading to struggles to focus, make decisions, and remember anything?
Yes. Yes, I am.
Do all of those things also sound remarkably similar to the symptoms of ADHD?
Yes. Yes they do.
The Difference Between Mom Brain and Undiagnosed ADHD
So, how can we tell the difference between everyday, run of the mill, mom brain and ADHD?
Your best answer is to start with your primary care doctor. They can lead you to a mental health professional who can better help suss out the root cause of what you are feeling.
The major difference between mom brain and undiagnosed ADHD is the intensity and duration of the symptoms. With mom brain, your forgetfulness, distractedness, and mood swings will typically resolve themselves a few years after giving birth for the final time. You know, once all the new gray matter has formed.
With undiagnosed ADHD, you will typically were experiencing symptoms prior to your pregnancy. There is even a chance that you saw your symptoms subside during pregnancy due to higher estrogen level as well as a jump in the intensity of the symptoms after birth, when your estrogen levels drop quickly.
But whether it is mom brain or ADHD, I can’t emphasize enough how important it is for us as moms to take our mental health seriously.
Think about your car…if you never changed the oil and topped off the fluids, it would eventually breakdown.
And if you don’t give your brain a break, whether you have ADHD or not, your brain will eventually burn out and shut down too.
That’s why I want to wrap up with some suggestions for how you can protect and support your busy mom brain.
Executive Function, Mom Brain Support Strategies
Honestly, these tips are important for all us mamas to remember…The ones experiencing mom brain, the ones experiencing ADHD, and the ones who just need to think about themselves a bit more.
Mom Brain Support Strategies: Ask for Help
I don’t know where this idea that we all need to do everything on our own came from BUT I will say that going through my breast cancer treatment made me realize that I could not do everything on my own. It gave me a chance to practice asking for help.
Now, I do not wish cancer treatment on any of you. Instead, I hope you can learn from me.
I have carried forward the lessons I learned during this time, especially in asking from help from my spouse, my family, and my friends.
Asking for help when I need it has gone a long way in helping me reduce the fatigue and overwhelm I feel as a mom.
Mom Brain Support Strategies: Connect with Other Moms
I know it’s a cliche at this point, but I truly believe it takes a village.
I truly believe that joining my local MOMs Club was key to helping me navigate my early parenting years. To this day, I am still friends with many of the moms I met there despite our kids going to different schools and choosing different paths.
So even if you’re an introvert, see if you can find your tribe. It’s a really nice feeling to know you’re not alone in your parenting journey. Or to hear someone is experiencing the same highs and lows you are.
Mom Brain Support Strategies: Get Plenty of Sleep
Now before you come after me, know that I understand sleep is hard for moms. Especially if your kids are young or still coming in during the night. I know it can be really hard to protect your sleep.
But I also know that when I was complaining about my lack of sleep several years ago, I was also spending long periods of time scrolling on my phone into the wee hours of the morning prior to shutting my eyes.
So, if there is a way you can sneak in 30 more minutes or a few extra hours here and there, try to get as much sleep as you possible can, when you can.
Sleep is one of the most important things you can do to keep yourself healthy.
Mom Brain Support Strategies: Create External Memory
Forgetfulness is one of my top ADHD symptoms. And I also know plenty of non-ADHD moms who also struggle with remembering to pack a lunch for a field trip or put all the soccer games on the schedule.
That’s why I encourage you to figure out a way that works best to get the ideas and thoughts out of your head and into another form.
It could be taking notes on your phone. Or writing them in a small notebook.
It could be recording voice memos.
Anything that you can do to get thoughts that you have or actions you need to take out of your head and into a more unforgettable form.
Mom Brain Support Strategies: Eat Brain Supporting Foods
Eating plenty of foods like fish, beans, eggs, whole grains, and dark green leafy veggies can provide the support and the nutrients that your brain needs as its creating all that new gray matter. Or just to support your brain in general.
On the flip side, try to limit your intake of sugar and alcohol because they can actually have the opposite effect on your brain that the healthier choices provide. Which could make it harder to focus, motivate yourself, and create that new gray matter.
Mom Brain Support Strategies: Practice Patience and Grace
You are doing a great job. Even on those days that you are 100% sure that what you are doing is going to come up in your child’s therapy later in life.
We all do really great things as moms. And we all have struggles.
As we’ve just learned, the emotional dysregulation or the forgetfulness or the trouble following through or struggles with focus have nothing to do with who you are as a mom. It is, however, directly related to what is going on inside your brain and body as it changes to adapt to your life as a mom.
So try to give yourself some love. Know that you are not alone in your struggles to raise these tiny humans and make sure they don’t turn out to be a-holes. 😉
And if you’re feeling like your mom brain could use a bit of extra support, I’d love to help. My coaching program looks to support your executive function challenges and provide accountability to help you focus and follow through in both your business and family life.
To learn more about how my programs can support you, click the button below to schedule your free, no-obligation call.
