How to Cope with ADHD | Creating ADHD Coping Skills After Your ADHD Diagnosis
“You can’t buy the bins first.”
When I was a professional organizer, there were so many projects where the clients wanted to start with buying the baskets, bins, or pretty labels.
And I get it…that’s the fun part. That’s the part that at face value feels like progress.
But I realized quickly that when we started with the fun part or the part that’s changing on the outside, we skipped over the part that was crucial for helping us actually change our behavior. The purpose behind why we needed this organizing project in the first place.
I think the same can be said when someone gets an ADHD diagnosis.
They may start to consume books or blogs saying “You should use this method of time blocking” or “You should use this tactic to forget less” without truly knowing why or if that solution is for the problem they have.
And it’s totally understandable when you consider that the human brain, both neurotypical and neurodivergent, is pre-programmed to search for the quickest means to an end. How quickly can we get from point A to point B?
But for meaningful changes to behavior and habits, you need to understand the reason you need to adjust what you’re currently doing.
What is the purpose? What’s the why?
I know from experience that it is much easier to stick with a coping strategy when you understand why you need this particular strategy. Because not everyone with ADHD is on the same journey with the same predictable coping strategies to help them navigate a neurotypical world.
That’s why we’re discussing how to understand your ADHD diagnosis as the first step towards creating ADHD coping strategies. Then four steps I recommend taking to do so.
How ADHD Awareness Helps Life with ADHD
Eckhart Tolle said “Awareness is the greatest agent for change.”
And when you develop awareness around what ADHD looks like and how you personally experience ADHD in a neurotypical world, you can better assess where you need to develop coping strategies.
Awareness can also help you to explain, not excuse, why you behave or react in certain ways to family and friends.
Awareness helps you understand that you’re running on a different operating system. That you may approach tasks, projects, even daily life a little differently than a neurotypical person might.
Awareness can help you develop accommodations for your unique ADHD brain. It’s not the idea of “fixing” you, because you’re not broken. Instead, think of creating awareness around your ADHD and how it impacts your life as a sort of instruction manual to help you in your work and home life.
Awareness helps you understand WHY you behave in certain ways, WHY you react the way you do, and WHY you might need to develop certain skills or use certain coping strategies in order to thrive.
I’ve worked with clients that were diagnosed as children and ones that were diagnosed less than a year ago. For many of them, they were told they had ADHD, maybe given a therapist suggestion or medication, but little actual education as to what ADHD looks like in day to day life and how to determine where you may need extra support.
By developing an awareness around what your ADHD looks like and how ADHD symptoms impact your daily life, actions, and relationships, you can move into what I call the second phase of embracing ADHD which is acceptance. If you don’t understand how and why you behave the way you do, it is hard to acknowledge that you may need to make changes or implement additional support.
4 Steps to Create ADHD Coping Strategies
Let’s wrap up by sharing four steps I suggest you take as you start this journey of embracing your ADHD diagnosis from Awareness to Acceptance to Action.
Creating ADHD Coping Strategies: Start with Awareness, Not Solutions
Make an effort to understand why you may need ADHD coping strategies to function in a world that wasn’t necessarily made for you.
Remember the example I gave at the beginning of starting an organizing project by buying bins? If you don’t understand why you need the bins, what bins are right for your project, and clear out any unnecessary clutter that may get in the way of you progress, you may quickly end up back at square one.
It’s possible to solve a problem if you’re trying to solve the wrong problem!
Not every person with ADHD needs every solution. Which is why becoming aware of what our particular version of ADHD is so important. And that’s why we need this next step.
Creating ADHD Coping Strategies: Learn What ADHD Looks Like
Educate yourself on what ADHD looks like, even if you’ve been dealing with it for years.
Because ADHD is more than forgetfulness, chronic lateness, and hyperactivity. It can show up as flying off the handle in a fit of rage over something seemingly meaningless because of diminished impulse control or ruminating on criticism for far longer than you should due to Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.
To learn about ADHD symptoms and how they may impact your life, you could read books like Driven to Distraction by Drs. Ned Hallowell and John Ratey, which sidenote I believe to be the best book to break down ADHD in an easy to understand way (and I’ve read several of them.)
You can grab a copy of Driven to Distraction clicking on the book below.*
You can also check out podcasts, blogs and YouTube channels. I actually did 2 episodes all about common ADHD symptoms a few months back and I’ll be sure to link to them in the show notes down below if you want to check them out. And as you learn about the symptoms, be sure implement our next strategy.
Creating ADHD Coping Strategies: Learn About Internal ADHD Symptoms.
In addition to the obvious, external symptoms you have, you may also experience invisible, internal ADHD symptoms.
I love this iceberg model created by PsychCentral showing both the typical, visible, external symptoms that we think about when someone says “ADHD” as well as all those other symptoms that may have been bubbling under the surface for years.
Many of us expend a lot of energy trying to mask these internal symptoms in an effort to fit in or seem like we have our lives together. Meanwhile, under the surface we are struggling.
(Learn more about ADHD Masking by clicking here.)
These internal symptoms and our efforts to mask them may also assist those of us with ADHD in developing comorbid conditions like depression and anxiety. There’s just so much going on in that little head of yours.
Learning to understand yourself and how ADHD shows up both externally and internally can help you with our final step.
Creating ADHD Coping Strategies: Teach Others About ADHD
When you understand your ADHD, you can begin to educate others around you.
You can begin to accept and accommodate others with ADHD in your orbit.
For me, learning about my own ADHD changed the way I parent my 11 year old son with ADHD. I have a much greater understanding of why he forgets his violin at school or why he doesn’t turn his homework in on time. Because I know I struggle with remembering things if no one reminds me too!
One key that I do want to reiterate before we wrap up today is that all this awareness we develop around ADHD is an explanation of our behaviors and tendencies, not an excuse.
Having ADHD and time management issues doesn’t excuse you from showing up to work on time. Forgetting to turn your homework in on time because you have ADHD doesn’t mean the teacher has to give you full credit.
Having ADHD does, however, explain why you may struggle with showing up on time or remembering to turn in your projects. You create an awareness around how your brain operates and where you may need extra support.
That awareness leads to the acceptance that you may need to do things a little differently than others around you. And that’s when you can start to take action towards creating ADHD coping skills and improving how you function as a mom and business owner with ADHD.
And if figuring out your ADHD coping skills and staying consistent with them sounds overwhelming or impossible, I would like to support you. I meet with my ADHD coaching clients each week to discuss what they are working on and what sorts of support they need to follow through and reach their goals.
To see if my ADHD coaching program might be a good fit for you, join me for a free, no-obligation call by clicking the button below.
* This link is an Amazon affiliate link, meaning I receive a small commission if you purchase the book through this link. Thank you in advance for your support!
